It's been a rough few weeks, and I have done more and less than I hoped to have done by this point. My two classes for the RN-BSN program have been a bit neglected and I'm sure my grades will demonstrate this fact. I managed to complete my Nanowrimo novel three days before it was due, but I missed out on Thanksgiving with my family for completely different reasons.
My current upset has to do with a cascade of problems. For starters, by little brother flunked out of nursing school, again, and after having surgery on his shoulder he could not get a job. He couldn't pay the bills on his own rental house and was taking money from my Mother, who has notoriously bad money management skills. As executor for my Grandmother's estate I could not in good conscience keep sending Josh all of her money so I told him it was over with, he is moving into my vacant house in Moberly. I told him I would be in Springfield on Tuesday with a rental truck to move him, but when I showed up it was to find that he had packed nothing in preparation for this move. So there we were, just the two of us packing up his entire house and loading it into a 24 foot diesel, almost completely by ourselves. It took us 24 hours and we didn't get on the road for the three and a half hour drive until four pm when it was nearly dark. I was exhausted and driving the truck, while Josh followed with his son in my car. It was because we were all so tired that I agreed to let Josh call and ask if our father would help unload. He of course agreed, and showed up at the new house along with his two new stepchildren.
It was good to have the extra help, particularly as I was on the last of my strength at that point. The problem is that seeing my father acting all jolly and fatherly towards his new kids while trying to schmooze his way into my good graces again brought back all of the hurt and anger I have towards him. He and Josh are all buddy-buddy despite the abuse our father heaped on us all when we were children. It was overwhelming to feel so much anger towards him over the next couple of days, and to still feel it burning in me.
Next problem: Mother
My mother has some kind of mental illness or problem, I don't know what kind. She avoids doing anything that would lead to taking care of her problems. She would rather sit around until the power and water are off and she is hungry in the cold than to simply pay her bills. Even when she does have a job you can count on her to use that money for frivolous or completely useless items instead of paying her tiny electric bill. And it is TINY. I know because I pay for the house that she lives in and while it is smallish (1150 sq ft) it is very well insulated with good windows and new doors. Average cost of electric, heat and AC is $100 per month. So she lives there for free and only has to pay power and water each month, but cannot manage even that. On top of it all, she inherited a car from my grandmother and won't get it insured despite having the money to do so as her inheritance.
I love my mother, but I am tearing my hair out with frustration at her problem avoidance. I think next week I am going to go up there and drag her out and force the issue as there is no other way I can think of to make sure she is driving legally
